Moving forward yet again

Its been eight weeks.  Yesterday was exactly two months.  There are days when it seems like an eternity ago that I was pregnant, like a dream, but then others where I almost expect to feel the thumps in my belly. There is a sense of finality now, of never being pregnant again, never again doing what my body was made to do. But there is also a sense of relief.  No more hormones, no more shots, no more stress of watching everything I eat and being so focused on the little person or people inside me.  Now is the time for my family...for growing and nurturing the people that have supported me for almost three years as I focused on surrogacy.

It has been a tough two months for me with the harder than anticipated mental and physical recovery. Somehow time has passed and now I feel like myself again.  The scar is still pink and a little numb, much like the feeling in my heart from not being as close with the second IPs as I would have hoped.  Even though it was a different experience, I still miss checking in with the mom and giving her updates.  I remember feeling like this a little after the first surrogacy.  As the new families are busy getting to know each other and meet the needs of newborns, the surrogate's role is gone.  Heck as any new mom knows, everyone but your new baby is pretty much of non-importance as you learn to make it through the days after sleepless nights.  So I am readjusting to my life and trying not to get overwhelmed as I think of all I put on hold. 

I have been tired for about two and a half years...between being pregnant and trying to prepare for pregnancy, my body has been through a lot.  I am still tired but with Thanksgiving and Christmas upon us, I just have to get my act together and jump back into my life with both feet.  I think this will be a blessing in disguise as I have to use my time wisely. I am excited to do some crafting and some baking...two things that were easy to put to the wayside while pregnant. It was a lot easier and faster to just buy things and I may not have enough time to do all I would want to, but I can do a little. 

Life is again moving forward and I am ready for whatever comes next.  I want to get healthy and strong for me, not just to prepare for gaining weight with pregnancy. I want to feel confident in my own life, and give all that to my family.  They deserve it.