Happy Half-Birthday Baby A!!!
Wow is all I can say. Time has been flying since I gave birth in April. I keep forgetting just how many months have passed. I guess when you put your life on hold, and then pick back up...you have a lot to make up for! Between throwing myself back into my own family and starting a part time job, I have stayed busy. I must say I am doing really well. The first question when I was pregnant was always...how can you give away the baby? And feeling confident, I would always reply that it isn't my baby and seeing her with her parents should be the easy part...well, I was right. It was really easy. I have never had a moment of regret/concern/second thought. I didn't give away my child, I simply delivered a child to her parents.
As part of this update, I wanted to make note of how my relationship with my FIPs (former intended parents) has gone. Some surrogates don't have any communication afterward, some have frequent updates. You get so close to someone during pregnancy--my FIM (the mom) was someone I talked to daily, sometimes throughout the day...since we met last March. And I knew it would end when she had a newborn to keep her company and I was no longer the center of her world. And I knew I would be okay, but it is still something anyone looking into surrogacy needs to understand. It will change. It will be different. My FIM missed me too which I wasn't prepared for--so we have made a point to keep in touch as often as we can. Many experienced surrogates have something planned for the "after". An event or hobby to really focus on...those post-partum hormones do take time to work out and having something fun to do can really help. No matter how close you are with your FIPs, they have their family and like anyone with a newborn, weeks can go by without a phone call to anyone outside the house. It isn't anything personal and honestly I was glad to really focus on my life for a while when the hormones were at the highest peak and I was still adjusting to an empty belly.
Sleep is something that you do get to enjoy after birth however and I think that makes a huge difference in your mental state as a surrogate. I never had the blues like I did after my own children. Yet the weight didn't fall off as quickly because I wasn't nursing a child, but here six months later, and I am pretty close to fitting into my old clothes. About once a week something else will decide to fit. I am sure if I had stuck with the gym, this would have been the case months ago. :-) My life is back to how it was, just with all blinders removed. I was changed forever by this surrogacy. I have a new appreciation for family and for the true friends that stood by me during this first journey. I am so much busier now with my life and every day embrace all that is represented by being busy...a roof over my head, food on the table and someone waiting for me at the end of the day. I would never have experienced this level of appreciation without entering into the world of surrogacy. I would never have seen what people go through just to make a family. I would never have gotten to know some of the most amazing people if I had never met my FIPs. I was one of the very lucky ones...my FIM and I hit it off right away and knew from the beginning we would have an amazing journey.
My faith is stronger and truer knowing that science can only do so much when it comes to creating life...life is and will always be something decided by God. Infertility is a life changer, no matter which side of the fence you are on...the doors that open because of it can sometimes surprise you. I saw my FIM a few weeks ago showing off her baby girl to some friends and it really hit me that life will never be the same for them. I did that. I made her dream come true but I didn't do it alone. Surrogacy is a group effort and the many people in my life that supported me, made it all possible. So six months out, I want to thank everyone again...for no telling what the future may bring.
