Its a funny thing when you talk about meeting someones parents...its really sort of crazy when that someone hasn't been born yet, but you are meeting the people that want them here so badly. I met a great couple yesterday. A couple that technically are parents, to four embryos carefully frozen at their RE's office. Four beautiful embryos (they would only transfer 2 at at time) that are ready to be given a chance to grow in the right environment...my environment. I got the thumbs up with the "A+ Uterus" seal of approval from the doc, so we spent most of the evening talking and getting to know each other in person. There have been lots of emails over the last few weeks, a few texts and a single voicemail. It is amazing how you can hear kindness instantly in some people. And it is wonderful when your gut is right and you meet two people and instantly have to hug them.
The thing about meeting two people in this particular situation is that the actual meeting is something like a job interview and something like a first date. You want them to like you and you want to like them, but you also want to make sure that everyone is comfortable enough to be honest. This whole process requires people to really get down to the nitty-gritty and think of things they would rather not. Some pretty dire situations have to be discussed and everything spelled out because it all has to be put into a contract. You have to agree to worst case situations before there are any situations--because later on hormones are involved and no telling how rational anyone will be then.
The other part is that they have been through so much. I am excited to help and eager to see the whole process unfold...but they have been repeatedly broken hearted and have to be cautious. I have seen that look before and know it well, and fortunately I was able to watch as the caution slowly melted away into excitement. God has a plan for us all and I think being an experienced surrogate is exactly what this couple needs. They need a little hope and I hope I can give that to them.
I had been worried that after knowing J&M and working with them so closely since they were local, that it would be hard to connect with anyone else. I know this experience will be very different, yet I think it will also be just as wonderful. I met two people yesterday that need to be parents. You could see in their faces and hear it in their voices when they spoke of how far they had gone just to get to this point. They need to have a child of their very own and this is the path they must take to make it a reality.
Oh and on a positive note already, the doc has a different protocol that uses less injections (no lupron this time) and estrogen by mouth instead of a million patches all at once. We will even be going into this process with higher odds than the last go round--and we got pregnant the first try!
Friday, November 11, 2011
Sunday, November 6, 2011
(He's) Being Thankful...
In the retail world, we see the in-store holidays go from Halloween directly to Christmas. After spending a bit of time at our favorite big box store yesterday, we were inundated with Christmas cheer. At bedtime last night, Miss E said something about Halloween being over and now it is time for Christmas! She was super excited and I paused for a moment, almost letting it go...but I couldn't. I NEED for my kids to be thankful. Maybe it is one of those maternal instincts or maybe it is just me. So I added in that before we can really appreciate Christmas, we must remember Thanksgiving and take time to be thankful for all that we have.
Miss E made a comment about being thankful for Santa...but my sweet 7-year old boy quickly said he could think of 10 Things that he was thankful for before he went to bed. He started thinking and quickly rattled off being thankful for toys...but here is his list in no particular order (with just a smidgen of help from me):
1. Toys to play with
2. A nice warm house
3. Computers to play
4. Good food to eat
5. A kind family
6. Books to read
7. Great friends
8. Being healthy (ok I helped here, but he quickly agreed)
9. A good school where he can learn a lot
10. To have a mom and dad since some kids don't (this was all him)
Then this morning he came to me as I was typing added #11. Being thankful for God for creating us and our planet. We don't go to church so this was somewhat surprising, yet warmed my heart.
Number 10 though really hit me hard. He made a point to say it separately from having a kind family--which in itself made me proud. What a sweet, sweet boy. I am so very thankful for the children I have and can't imagine my world without them. Being a mom has brought me more joy and love than I could have ever known in this world.
And his comment following seeing his list here..."I'm thankful for more than I am years old"...I think if you can think of enough things to surpass your years, you are doing something right. I think I might have to sit down myself and see how many things I am thankful for...as I am positive that list would be greater than my own 33 years.
Miss E made a comment about being thankful for Santa...but my sweet 7-year old boy quickly said he could think of 10 Things that he was thankful for before he went to bed. He started thinking and quickly rattled off being thankful for toys...but here is his list in no particular order (with just a smidgen of help from me):
1. Toys to play with
2. A nice warm house
3. Computers to play
4. Good food to eat
5. A kind family
6. Books to read
7. Great friends
8. Being healthy (ok I helped here, but he quickly agreed)
9. A good school where he can learn a lot
10. To have a mom and dad since some kids don't (this was all him)
Then this morning he came to me as I was typing added #11. Being thankful for God for creating us and our planet. We don't go to church so this was somewhat surprising, yet warmed my heart.
Number 10 though really hit me hard. He made a point to say it separately from having a kind family--which in itself made me proud. What a sweet, sweet boy. I am so very thankful for the children I have and can't imagine my world without them. Being a mom has brought me more joy and love than I could have ever known in this world.
And his comment following seeing his list here..."I'm thankful for more than I am years old"...I think if you can think of enough things to surpass your years, you are doing something right. I think I might have to sit down myself and see how many things I am thankful for...as I am positive that list would be greater than my own 33 years.
Friday, November 4, 2011
Here we go again...
So this blog is my launch pad, where I gather my thoughts and share with those close to me what I have in the works. Sometimes I post on facebook and sometimes people get get phone calls...but sometimes, you just want to shout something from the rooftops and a blog is the modern version of doing just that.
Here I can't contain myself any longer. I have prayed and prayed about what to do next with my life. I thought getting a job would fulfill my extra time so I couldn't dwell on my own children growing up and being in school full time. I thought that being busy would mean I wouldn't feel the pull to go down a certain path once more. I really thought that I would use my sewing and crafting to fulfill any extra spaces. I wasn't sure for a while if I ever wanted to be pregnant again, but I guess I don't like odd numbers or I just want the chance to do something extraordinary once more...but I am pursuing another surrogacy. This probably isn't the best means of sharing...but some things just need to be shared all at once with everything put out there.
In my last post, I mentioned seeing my FIM with her baby. Seeing the happiness in her face that she was able to show off her baby to the world, solidified a feeling that had been growing in my heart. I was pretty sure in those moments after childbirth that I would have to do this again, but in that instant I knew without a doubt. I would need to help one more family be created. I know it is a lot to ask of my family and friends. I could not have gotten through the rough spots in the last pregnancy without the help of many special people. I feel greedy in asking for their support again. Yet something about four pregnancies just feels complete. I don't feel like I will need to do this again.
Knowing I want to be a surrogate again and knowing what my own family has in the works for the next few years--adding sports and travel to our lives, this time just feels like the right time to pursue it. We have our own plans for the future where being pregnant would not fit. My heart is calling out for something and I just can't ignore it. I have talked with a few different couples over the last few months, but the couple I am continuing with gave me the same type of feeling I got when I first talked with J&M.
The new IPs (Intended Parents), C&J, have said that I can continue to blog about our journey and I look forward to sharing this experience from the very beginning. This blog should serve as a nice reminder for myself and anyone close to me, why I am going down this path. I feel blessed that I can do something, give hope, where there has been heartache. And while each journey is different and the end result is unknown, I feel like having the opportunity to try is worth it. I hope that next year at this time I can be blogging about a birth, but I may still be somewhere in the midst of a pregnancy or even contemplating why it didn't go as planned...whatever stage I am in is for the love of family. If I can teach my children to be compassionate and to reach out when they can, I will be able to look back on my life knowing I did something right as a mother.
Here I can't contain myself any longer. I have prayed and prayed about what to do next with my life. I thought getting a job would fulfill my extra time so I couldn't dwell on my own children growing up and being in school full time. I thought that being busy would mean I wouldn't feel the pull to go down a certain path once more. I really thought that I would use my sewing and crafting to fulfill any extra spaces. I wasn't sure for a while if I ever wanted to be pregnant again, but I guess I don't like odd numbers or I just want the chance to do something extraordinary once more...but I am pursuing another surrogacy. This probably isn't the best means of sharing...but some things just need to be shared all at once with everything put out there.
In my last post, I mentioned seeing my FIM with her baby. Seeing the happiness in her face that she was able to show off her baby to the world, solidified a feeling that had been growing in my heart. I was pretty sure in those moments after childbirth that I would have to do this again, but in that instant I knew without a doubt. I would need to help one more family be created. I know it is a lot to ask of my family and friends. I could not have gotten through the rough spots in the last pregnancy without the help of many special people. I feel greedy in asking for their support again. Yet something about four pregnancies just feels complete. I don't feel like I will need to do this again.
Knowing I want to be a surrogate again and knowing what my own family has in the works for the next few years--adding sports and travel to our lives, this time just feels like the right time to pursue it. We have our own plans for the future where being pregnant would not fit. My heart is calling out for something and I just can't ignore it. I have talked with a few different couples over the last few months, but the couple I am continuing with gave me the same type of feeling I got when I first talked with J&M.
The new IPs (Intended Parents), C&J, have said that I can continue to blog about our journey and I look forward to sharing this experience from the very beginning. This blog should serve as a nice reminder for myself and anyone close to me, why I am going down this path. I feel blessed that I can do something, give hope, where there has been heartache. And while each journey is different and the end result is unknown, I feel like having the opportunity to try is worth it. I hope that next year at this time I can be blogging about a birth, but I may still be somewhere in the midst of a pregnancy or even contemplating why it didn't go as planned...whatever stage I am in is for the love of family. If I can teach my children to be compassionate and to reach out when they can, I will be able to look back on my life knowing I did something right as a mother.
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