The Twin Experience

So last time I posted I was a little complainy and well, that isn't going to change this post either. :-) I was really excited to be pregnant again after I finished my last surrogacy and really wanted to carry twins.  My amazing cousin has done it twice (completely naturally both times!!) and felt like after the huge singletons I had carried, that I could physically do it.  I guess something a little different always seems fun in the beginning...

And really the beginning was easy.  I am still amazed that we are nearing the end of our 33rd week as the time has gone so quickly.  Working seems to have made a big difference as we stay on schedule all week.  Up at the same time every morning and to bed at the same time every night.  I knew my kids thrived on a schedule but I guess I do too. 

The middle of the pregnancy was really easy too--I had one doctor tell me that with twins, the traditional "feel good" phase that typically comes in the second trimester only lasts a few weeks and that is the truth.  Huge energy bursts, lots getting done, hurray for me!!  Then you start feeling rough and get reality checks about things like c-sections and how big your diameter has gotten.

I must say that the last few weeks have gotten progressively harder.  Luckily I am managing to sleep well and eat well enough that for the most part I feel good...it is just harder to do basic things, like get dressed, roll over and get out of a chair.  The last few days have been really rough and I am starting to get really tried from basic things.  Clothes are starting to get tight and I pretty much have four work outfits that I rotate through the four days each week that I work.  My hands are getting just slightly swollen as are my feet, so while I can still wear rings and shoes, it is noticeable that they are no longer comfortable. 

The twin experience is actually better than I thought it would be for the most part and I must say I do feel incredibly lucky that the contractions I have been having haven't actually done anything other than be obnoxious.  My body is holding tight to these little boys (so tight that I get heartburn now from almost anything eaten--yeah, that is one of the not so great sides of the twin experience).  Some very strange sensations seem to come with having four arms and four legs nestled inside.  Someone always seems to be moving or hiccuping or stretching.  With one, you get periods when you can tell the baby is resting, but with twins they are all over the place all the time. I keep thinking they will run out of room yet somehow they just keep stretching things out so they can keep on rocking.

In 11 days we will be at 35 weeks when, should labor strike, I will be allowed to deliver.  Crazy how time is flying and how soon it will all be over.  I wonder if I will miss it so quickly like I did last time or be thankful to have my body back? As much as I am done being pregnant, I have been able to do something that a lot of women can't.  Hubby and I talk about being done, done, done helping others and getting back to our lives but then we have moments where we look at each other and think that if the right people come along and the right situation presents itself, we may consider it again.  The hard part of that is, so many people have been through so much heartache and I know I can't help them all.  There will always be a family with a heartbreaking story and a desire to experience as much of the pregnancy as they can.  There will always be someone that would be a great "match" to help.

I have to get to the point where my family gets me full time, 100% me...no belly, no hormones, no exhaustion.  I guess a lot will depend on how the delivery goes and how the next year moves forward.  So much depends on this delivery and afterward.  My twin experience won't be completed until I am recovered fully which may take weeks or months...and then I guess we will decide what is best for us.  I just feel lucky to be able to have these choices at all.