I'm back...at least for a minute.

I have so much to tell and to share. The last few weeks have been full and we have gone through so much. Changes. Adjustments. Some good...some harder. I don't even know where to begin as I want to just ramble on for a while.
Maybe I will start with this week and work my way back. :-) Monday we had our first ER visit as Alexander had something fall on his hand. With all the purple swelling that immediately appeared, I was sure that he had some type of crazy bleed going on under the skin that was just waiting to explode and cause great blood loss. Apparently, I also completely blow things out of proportion in my mind when it comes to my kiddos. He hurt his hand and while it swelled up and looked awful, it was just a tiny fracture. Four days in a half-cast/splint/sling and no fracture could be seen on the new x-ray. The hand is bruised but hasn't hurt him at all. I am thankful that the situation wasn't worse and thankful that it has healed up so quickly. I am also thankful to know that our hospital does have an awesome Pediatric ER.


Tuesday we had an earthquake. This was definitely one of those things you don't expect on the East Coast and there has been plenty of mockery online and on the news. It was just a little rumble but it was unsettling--especially to be reminded that you can't control everything and we are still on a planet that is ever changing. We are so little in the grand scheme of things.

Wednesday brought a rebirth of Eleanor's troubles leaving me in the mornings. She has had a rough time separating at school and we had been making progress. We are both struggling with the mornings--I hate to make her go when she just wants to stay with me, but I have to get to work now (see how much I haven't shared lately??). She does love her teacher but doesn't get the one-on-one that I think she misses from preschool. Jumping from 14 kids in a class to 25 would be an adjustment for everyone. It leaves me torn being a mom that wants her child to be strong and independent, but also sad that my baby just wants to be with me and I must tell her no.


Thursday we had doctor visits--Alex at the doctor for his hand to see how everything was going and it was going great. He is all but healed and ready to play again! He is able to write and be so much more independent at school. I think he was embarrassed that he had to get help from his classmates. Eleanor had a doctor visit too and I was so put off by our new doctor that I didn't know what to say. We have been somewhat disgruntled at this particular practice for a while but always loved the doctor we saw. He recently moved and a new doctor came. I figured a female pediatrician would probably be nice but I was wrong. I am amazed that she has her own children. Her nurse was the same sort of distant, non-patient person that just wanted to be done for the day. I did promptly call and switch our primary (just in case we get sick) and ask for recommendations from friends. I am going to make this change that I have been putting off for so long...I mean even, the doc I really liked misdiagnosed Alex with allergies for three years before the ENT said he had sinus problems.


Friday. I don't even know what to say about Friday other than I am so glad this week is over. I have a new appreciation for Saturday now that we are out of the house all week long. Normally I am off work Fridays but today I worked to make up for taking Monday off (teacher workday). I am trying my best to help out at school, work on a fundraiser, keep up with the kids and still have energy left for my husband. So far, it isn't all coming together as well as I would like. I need to figure out the balance of energy since that seems to be getting me more than the actual balance of time. I don't know how working moms do it but I hope that very soon, I will figure out this new life.


I kept thinking that when both kids went to school I would get so much done. Instead my projects keep moving further down the list of important things to do as the everyday requirements take over. Feeling overwhelmed already, I know that I must take time to prioritize. I need to get back in the gym--even if I don't push myself enough to help physically, it makes a world of difference mentally. I love every moment of my day and the people around me. I just wish I had more energy to let them all know. I am letting my life go past me again and I need to stop and make sure that the promises I made to myself and my family aren't forgotten.

And to Catey...I have so much to blog about so just you wait!! ;-)

Giving thanks and reaching out

http://dixonsmakeitwork.blogspot.com/p/just-relax.html

Visit this blog.  The girl, Jen, that so openly shared her story on infertility, has some really amazing friends.  They have gotten together to do a benefit for her and her family as they are still struggling with a baby in the NICU.  I am pretty sure everyone that checks my blog probably checks hers, but in case you have found me without finding Jen, you have to read her story when you have time.  She is funny and you will cry...her story (as well as stories of friends that came out over the last few years) really made me determined to be a surrogate. http://www.jennepper.com/

I need to note that I was also inspired to take life by the horns after reading the book, "The Happiness Project" (available here: http://www.amazon.com/Happiness-Project-Morning-Aristotle-Generally/dp/0061583251).  I am a happy person so reading this book may seem odd.  I feel like life passes us too quickly and reading about Gretchen and the choices she made to take that happiness to a higher level was truly inspiring. I knew I had something big inside me, but I needed the motivation and courage to do it...this book did just that. I highly recommend everyone read it. I own a copy if anyone wants to borrow it. 

Life is just too short and too fragile not to thank those people that make our lives what they are are and way too short to hold yourself back from doing something you think may just make a difference.  Take today and make it matter...or make a plan to make more of every day that comes.  Each day that passes molds us into the person we are today and without the ups and downs, the mistakes and successes, the good days and bad, we would be totally different people in a totally different place. I can say that while I may have regrets in life, and feel like I let too many days pass without special meaning, that I am who I am because of it all...and for that, I wouldn't change a thing.