Last night, after reading stories, I lay down on Eleanor's bed with her. I looked at her quiet face and stroked her hair as she fell alseep. I look at my children differently now that I have glimsed the world of infertility. I never took them for granted but I don't think I appreciated them nearly as much as much as I do now. I am reminded in times of craziness and tantrums that I wouldn't trade it for anything...that those moments are just as much a part of life as the snuggles and kisses.
And as I lay down with my daughter, the little girl in my belly starts her evening dance. J&M are so blessed to have her coming. I feel sad that J will never know the feeling of her child within her, but some things are no longer important when you have waited so long for your child. It isn't the way she arrives into this world as long as she is yours.
I still check on both of my kids before I head to bed. I go into their rooms, tuck them in a little tighter and always make sure they are warm, but not too hot. I have done this for all but about 10 or so nights since they were born...coming up on seven years of bedtime checks and I don't plan to stop anytime soon.
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