So here is my story...
I woke up on Sunday morning around 3am with a huge contraction. I have been having contractions for weeks but this was a whole new level. I had been worried that I wouldn't know when things became real...there was no doubt that things were switching from practice to productive. :-) I shifted in the bed and went back to sleep until almost 4am when another huge contraction hit. Deciding that I might want to move around, I got out of bed and went downstairs. Time was passing slowly and I was on the verge of heading back to bed when another contraction hit (4:20am), then again (4:41am). For some reason that last contraction was like a green light that things were starting. The contractions had gone from 20 minutes, down to 7, 5 and 3 minutes apart all in single sequence. By 5:14am I was texting Meagan, my labor coach, that she might want to get ready because something was definitely going on. I was so excited to actually be going into labor since I was induced with my kids and had an induction on the books with this baby too.
By the time we get checked in at the hospital around 6:45am, the contractions had been a consistent 3-5 minutes apart lasting at least a minute. I was getting worried that this was still going to be pretend and I would still be at 2cm--but I was at 5cm!! Yay! We were heading up to a room. I texted my IPs when we got to the hospital but hadn't heard back from them yet. I was starting to get anxious that things were moving quickly and they weren't there. We finally heard back from them...new phones and things not working right, but they were headed on over!!
By 7:45am, I was 7cm and waiting on my epidural. Mom and Dad had arrived and everything was moving in slow motion for me. I had no idea that it was only an hour after getting to the hospital. I was trying to breathe through my contractions and have extra pressure applied to my hips but I couldn't take it. I had hoped to go natural but I figure getting to 7cm was as much natural as I needed and now it was time to relax. By 8am I had my epi and was feeling so much better. I could still move my feet and feel a little pressure so I was pleased with how it was taking. My hips didn't feel like my legs were being pulled out of socket and I could actually look at people in my room. :-) I don't think I said anything to the IPs for the first 20 minutes they were in the room. I could barely do more than breathe through the contraction before another one hit.
After the epi, the room was completely different. We were all talking about the pregnancy and everyone was getting so excited about the birth. The epi did lower my blood pressure so I had some moments of feeling faint and nauseated. The nurse was able to give me some medicine in my IV to help and about 10 minutes later I was feeling really good. The doc broke my water around 9:30am as I was still around 7cm. At 10:30am we were at 9cm and things started getting busy around the room. The parents changed into gowns so they could do skin-to-skin with the baby after the birth. We were all talking and laughing waiting to get the go to push. I was absolutely giddy at this point. It seemed so surreal that we were all sitting in a delivery room waiting on a miracle.
At 11:19am, we started pushing. I couldn't feel as much as with my daughter and being almost five years since doing this last, I wasn't sure exactly what to do...luckily it is like riding a bike and after a few odd feeling pushes I got the hang of it. The IPs were holding my feet and got to witness the birth of their daughter at 11:35am. The baby's shoulders did get stuck behind my pelvic bone, so the doc had to deliver one arm after her head and give her a little twist (with help from a nurse pushing on my belly) but then she slid right out. It was a little stressful when the nurse asked the dad to sit down so she could climb up on me. The baby was a little purple but wiggling and making noises. The doc put her directly into her mother's arms and daddy cut the cord. It was the most amazing sight I have ever witnessed.
The IPs were collecting cord blood, so the doc harvested that from the cord, it only took a few minutes, but apparently I had fabulous blood flow even after all our placenta problems second trimester. She could have filled two containers if she had them! The placenta was delivered next, then I was stitched (and stitched and stitched). I had a second degree tear along the scar line from my son's birth--he got stuck too and I had a pretty bad tear then. I was up walking around probably about two hours after the birth. The baby, IPs and I spent all that time together in the labor/delivery room. I am so glad I had that time to watch them snuggle their daughter and think about all that had just happened. We were all shocked when the nurse read out the baby's weight although you could tell she was a good size. I honestly felt like a rock star for carrying her and getting her out so quickly.
I left the hospital after 24 hours and it was almost surreal to think of all that had happened in such a short period of time. The nurses kept coming in asking how I was feeling about everything now that I had given birth and I felt so much better. I always had a good feeling and knew that this baby girl was so loved and would be given everything she ever needed...but seeing those first moments with her and her parents, made any every ache, every day of stress, completely worth it.
The IPs brought the baby in to visit that first night in the hospital and came to hang out with me the next morning while the baby got checked out. I have gotten texts and pictures every day, which was more than I expected. We do plan to stay in touch but I remember those first few days after birth being a total blur--but I guess part of that is trying to recover, learning to breastfeed (which they don't have to worry about), and getting to know the baby. I do find myself more interested in the baby than I thought I would be...not in a "I want her" kind of way, but definitely in that "my best friend had a baby and I want to hear all the details" kind of way. I also have two friends that are pregnant and due in the next couple of months, so babies are everywhere in my world.
I feel so much love all around me. My own group of family and friends have been so vocal with their support and the IPs have been amazing. I spent so much of this pregnancy feeling like surrogacy wasn't really this huge deal that everyone seems to think it is--I am simply a mom that was willing to help someone else realize the same dream. But somehow in the labor, delivery, and meeting that new baby, it occurred to me how huge this process really is. I may never again do something so life changing. How many things can you do in your life that would have the same impact? I am just a regular person but I did something extraordinary. We are all different than other people in some way and giving this gift truly is so much bigger than I let myself think about while pregnant. I definitely understand how some surrogates can do this over and over, but can also see how one time would be enough. I am still trying to decide if I will pursue another journey. I know I want to wait at least a year so I can enjoy every holiday and celebration with my family as well as get stronger physically. My kids are so happy to have me back and have enjoyed meeting the baby and seeing all the photos that the IM has texted me. There was never a thought in their minds that we would have the baby, so I haven't had any questions or concerns brought up by them.
**As a side note, my IPs are medical professionals so I was fine with them literally watching and being a part of the birth. Not sure if I would have wanted just anyone being that involved but I had no fear of them fainting or being anything less than professional.
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